Clothesline fresh country myth breaker 17

Clothesline fresh, country fresh scent, smells like a country garden, those of us from the city have all seen our share of country clad laundry soap commercials. The token red barn glows in the distance. Closer in, clothes adorn the line. Each piece is so straight and evenly spaced you’d believe a team of sophomore geometry students hung them as their final class projects. Even more perfect, the lightest of breezes launches an ‘oh so soft’ billow along the stain free front row. Even I think, who wouldn’t want their clothes to be clothesline fresh? And, don’t those people own underwear? Ahhhh! I use my clothesline. I must. There is not a man in the five-state region willing to rise to the challenge of touching my daunting propane line and antiquated fuse box. Like my outhouse, my dryer is purely ornamental. Despite this forced march to my clothesline the results can be startlingly adequate. Yet as a good Cidiot (city idiot), It would be negligent of me if I did not point out a few hazards of clotheslines to budding country converts. Beware, hanging your skivvies in the wild is not all its cracked up to be. Consider these dilemmas. Seven of Ten Birds Prefer to Defecate Out of Doors – Avian species have a remarkable instinct for textile quality. Anyone doubting this should hang their Thai Silk robe on one end of the clothesline. Put a flannel shirt on the opposite side. At the end of the day tally the results. Sheets Attract Wind – Kids have a new kite? You can plan your day around it, guaranteed! Just wash your bedding in the morning and place it on your line. Rest assured, Mariah herself will blast through your backyard. Kites, bedding, lingerie, pugs - anything with a flat surface will dance its way through the sky, only to impale itself in full display atop the silo of your local feed mill. Remember the One Foot Rule – Most educated people know the three second rule. No matter where in your home you drop a piece of silverware, if you can retrieve it in three seconds or less you can eat off it without rinsing first. The one-foot rule, however, is only taught in rural school districts. It goes like this: Any textile on a clothesline that sags to within 12 inches of sweet Mother Earth, via the wind or any other means, must immediately be scent marked by every male canine (dogs, coyotes, wolves or prairie dogs) inside a three mile radius. Animals Have Hair – Strangely enough farms are inundated with animals. Go figure. With all due respect to clothespins, they do little to remove hair. It takes four fabric softener sheets and a small nuclear plant to fluff out an intricate weaving of fur and feathers. During the spring shed I keep a HAZMAT team on stand by just to clean my lint traps. Remodeling Your House? – You can save a fortune in costly building materials. Just hang your cotton towels out to dry on the clothesline. Not only will they dry stiff enough to be use as support beams, the bird shit will act as an adhesive for roofing projects. Remember on that warm spring day, when the cottonwoods are spawning and your best angora sweater has just hit the line, imagine, within a matter of hours it will be more than you ever dreamed possible. And, as always, it will smell ‘clothesline fresh!’

How to find a good inexpensive hotel

When going on vacation somewhere you have never been it can be hard to find a good quality Hotel working on a budget. So here is a guide to help you find a good place cheap, so you don’t have to worry about where you will stay. In my life I have done a great deal of traveling, and I have many nightmare stories about the things that have happened to me in some of the cheap hotels I have stayed in. I remember once I was ok a ski trip and half the floor in my room actually dropped about 6 inches. I woke up and my head was lower then the rest of me and was confused for several seconds before I managed to come to my senses. Lucky for me the room was on the first floor. On another trip, the police raided the hotel looking for illegal immigrants, and there was noise all night long. It was probably quiet the next night, but I did not stick around to see. Finding a good inexpensive hotel should not be a gamble. The best way to find a good hotel is to go to a place you have been before, but assuming that is not an option the next best thing is from someone who has been there. If you know someone who has been to the same vacation spot as you are planning on going, ask them about the place they stayed, the worst that can happen is they tell you they hated it or that it was too expensive. But what if no one you know has ever been to where you are going to be? Unless you like to gamble, you can't just make reservations anywhere, if you are looking to gamble on something play blackjack or poker in a casino, but don’t roll the dice with the place you are going to use as your home base for your vacation. Use the internet to look for hotel reviews. There are many websites that have reviews from people who have stayed in the hotel. Now one mans hell may be another mans heaven, but at least this way you can see that 5 people stayed there and said it was fine and two said it was not good maybe these 2 people were the exception. Or maybe the two that did not like the hotel were in town for business in an area popular with tourists. This can be an annoying situation when everyone around you is partying and you are trying to sleep, this is one of the reason why no business is conducted in Daytona Beech during Spring Break. Talking with a travel agent is always a great way to assure your happiness with your lodgings, and helps keep the gambling in the casinos and out of your room. A good thing to do is to make sure to ask lots of question on the phone with any hotels you are considering staying in.